September 4, 2014


When the aliens came down to Earth, they immediately understood everything; How motors worked, how matter grew and eroded, the death of the ‘verandah.’ The only thing that puzzled them that day and night was, “Why is there laugh tracks on TV?” It couldn’t compute. Made their gadgets go ga – ga. It’s hard to explain laugh tracks to aliens. It’s so true it should be a cliché. But I digress which is something an alien never does. The only other thing the aliens didn’t understand is, Why were there so many lonely people? Why didn’t they simply ‘pair up’? Simply ‘get together’? They said they could understand one lonely person, like at a dance, hands folded, toe tapping, wanting to dance but smiling bravely at the rest, saying, “I’m fine. I’m not lonely I like to stand here alone… you guys go have fun. Go have children and holidays and warm backs to cuddle. I’m fine standing here.” The aliens understood one lonely human. But not an army of soups for one in the grocery check out. Not an army of ones renting ‘Failure to Launch’ or some other dull piece of shit every Friday at the video store. Sleeping alone in a ten year old shirt. Not an army of one’s brushing their hair for no one. The candleless birthdays. Those trying to keep practiced in love with a bird, or a dog, or by simply ‘remembering’. A million lights quietly shutting off. The aliens were almost deafened by the sound of pages being turned in the books read by the lonely. The aliens were almost deafened by the sounds of all those waking up to just a clock radio. “Why don’t they just get together?” asked the aliens. I just couldn’t explain it to them. “Don’t tell anyone we were here” Who do I have to tell? After they left I solved the mystery. The laugh track is for me. The laugh track is to remind us: We are not alone. Not in the universe but in this and every other city.

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